Guilt

Guilt:

A clasp on my ankle.
A bird in a cage.
A chain around my neck.
An empty wallet, void
of ID. The location
I forget dreams.

Sleepless nights like
regret so deep;
it's my life map.
The sleeping life.
The shallowed breathing
of change.
Old clothing in my closet.
Flickering street lamps
lighting partial truth.
Safety.

I Love You

I closed my eyes to shut out
the thought of life without you.
My gratitude is like a flickering
street lamp, somewhat lingering.
Maybe if I shined consistently
I would say I love you more.
And yet my love is like a flapping
bird, still in the air, still trying to
speak words past insecurities.

Untitled

So on the seventh day God rested

and I planned to do the same until

you came and arrested my attention. 

This alertness of my own short 

comings makes me aware of my

slumming to find some part of 

a piece of peace inside me. 

This isn't about you, only the

way your kindness leads me 

to the discovery of my self
and maybe I need to learn to like
what I find.

My Way Out

Not all who wander are lost
but I've been wandering around
the thought of you and I need
a map to find my way out.

You are scenery on the side
of the road, but a road I never
wanted to travel. You are
the last song of the play list.

I had a plan to get from point
A to point B which has now become
point C and I don't want to want
to be at this newness. Navigation
has led to no ending and maybe
if I believed in destiny I would
say "it has happened for a reason".

Speaking of reason, I've lost mine.
The ability to do or to have.
I remember having a plan,
having a goal, a destination.
Now this infatuation means I
only have a thought of you,
and I need a map to find my way
out.

Steps

It's been over a month since I have posted. A failure for sure. School reconvened, but no excuses. Here is something I jotted down a few weeks ago. I think I may break it up into two separate poems. 

Let's take a step back to the place

I lost my footing and fell into this pot

hole called something like love. We 

walked together, in sync until you saw

me slipping into a feeling you never felt.

Let's take a step back so I can avoid

a mistaken step. Guide me out of  these

feelings by showing me your own, what

ever they may be. 

You are like a book I don't quite

understand and yet must keep reading.

Your words fertilize a friendship that

grows too wildly. You create a scenery

in my life that looks something like

                                            infatuation.