I Wouldn't Know

maybe the difference
is that you'll do any
thing for someone
you love

but
you can't do anything
without someone
you're in love with.

then again
who am I to know?
you left me
stationary
with lack of opportunity
to grasp this knowledge.

You Look Sad

I'm afraid

that if I pick happiness

like a flower

and drop it in your eyes

like a vase 

I will only be seeing

beauty 

destined to wither.

20 Poems #20

I did it! 20 poems in 20 days. Here is the final one.

I never know when to use
worse or worst
and I wish I did
because this poem
is the worst place
to not know.
What is worse
than not hearing
answers to my
grammar questions?
Maybe I was holding
out for another lesson.
Maybe the whole issue
is too many typos
and too many
misunderstandings.

20 Poems #19

I read a book
that was full of you
with chicken scratch
from someone too afraid
to say simple things
like I like you.

I'm writing a book
that is full of someone
new with calligraphic
scripts of things
I wasn't afraid to say
like I like you. 

20 Poems #18

All these corners 

are dusted like they 

are on showcase. 

All these windows

are clear like 

someone needs to

see through them.

I clean to maintain

control and I swear

my home was never

this organized before

I met you. 

20 Poems #17

There had been 

too many drills 

where I took time

to grab my things

but this wasn't a smoke

signal I inhaled. 

I am stuck empty

handed with buzzing

in my ears. 

20 Poems #16

I was on a dock

looking through stationary

binoculars

and I could see your details

but the look in your hazel eyes 

couldn't meet mine.

That's the thing about looking

through something:

we have stopped seeing some

one.

20 Poems #15

I put on the last words
you spoke to me
like armor complete
with a sword and shield
to protect me from the battle
I am having with your
disappearance.

20 Poems #14

He said he wouldn't

disappear

but magicians

always know 

where the card 

is while the audience

is left wondering

what

just

happened.

20 Poems #13

I have always loved
the abandoned
so it makes sense
that I am now learning
to love myself.

20 Poems: #12

I have been
just going
for so long
and for once
I wish you
would walk
behind me
and convince
me to stay
and maybe
even follow
if I don't.

20 Poems: #11

Should I have known
that you would bring
me a plethora
of angst
with a smile
on your face
like you were handing
me a glass of wine
and a bar
of chocolate?

20 Poems #10

I know that #9 isn't posted, but that's intentional as it isn't appropriate for this particular blog.

I have never believed

love

to be a four letter word

but instead many words

I do not have

the vocabulary to utter.

20 Poems #8

The quality of these drafts just continue to diminish. 

Happiness is a beast
I keep behind
closed doors with
a lock. I won't let
the key people call
love loose it and let it
run away.
It isn't meant to be free
in the streets.
I bought this animal
for my own company
by spending
countless hours
trying to decide
what was most wrong
with me
and finally I concluded
that my biggest downfall
was letting you see
me as anything
but myself.

20 Poems #7

He should thank you
for making me feel
like feet drowning
in wet boots.
He simply slipped
them off and dried
them by the fire
of kindness
I told him not to kindle.
"But I like being nice
to you" he said.

20 Poems #6

Tonight,the coldness
is especially lonely.
I remember
when there was warmth
between us
without touching
like we both knew
that contact
would make a combustion
that could not be extinguished.
I saw you yesterday;
our eyes met
and I only saw fog.
I have been breathing
in this bitterness
but when I exhale
I cannot see my breath.
You have always carried
a way to cloud
my existence.

Free write: I wish you knew

It's a free write type of night since I desperately feel like I have to write but nothing seems to come together. 

I wish you knew 
that I don't smile like that for anyone else.
that I don't tell people nice things because it makes me feel too vulnerable.
how to be vulnerable.
how stupid happy I got when I saw you.
how stupid sad I got when I looked at myself.
how I feel stupid when I feel anything.
that my regret feels like feet drowning in wet boots.
that you are in my poetry.
that you are a bridge.
I like bridges.
my last name.
my handwriting.
how expensive makeup brushes are.
how expensive vacations are.
how difficult it is to vacation from my head.
my uncertainty.

I wish you didn't know
that distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder.
how bad my hair looks some mornings.
about New York City.
my recipes.
what makes me laugh.
my hands.
that hesitancy is a backpack of bricks.
her name.
her.
my availability.

20 Poems #5

I made my hair

have fringe

so you cannot see

the dimple over my left

eyebrow that deepens

when I worry.

You told me my face

holds too much

expression. But the truth

is that no one else

has ever looked.

I fell asleep

during hide and seek

and you woke

me from that peace.

Who knew that being

found would bring

back this dent

in my head?

20 Poems #4

You see yourself 

as a thrift store rag. 

But boy do you clean

up nicely. I didn't 

need to tailor you.

And you never made 

me think it was I 

who needed alterations.

You fit my fears 

and so I fear

I will wear you out. 

20 Poems #3

I used the prompt "I used to be, but now I". I may take a couple of the ideas and expand them later. 

I used to be a child, now I'm immature. 

I used to be alone, now I'm just lonely. 

I used to be a ship, now I am an airplane. 

I used to be a box, now I am a cup. 

I used to be a box, now I am flat. 

I used to be fat, now I am me. 

I used to be independent, now I'm lonely. 

I used to be a dripping faucet, now I am a river. 

I used to be a stove top, now I am a forest fire. 

I used to cry, now I weep. 

I used to want you, now I want us.

I used to be a tree, now I am the cabin. 

20 Poems #2

He doesn't realize

that his fingertips

are paintbrushes that 

made art on my shoulders. 

He doesn't realize

that I was a blank

canvas and he 

has stained me. 

He doesn't realize 

that I became a relique 

placed behind glass,

no one can touch. 

He doesn't realize 

I would rather be

the tarp on his floor 

to still feel his existence

and catch some of his color. 

20 Poems #1

I made a goal to write 20 poems in 20 days as apart of a wholistic cleanse I am currently doing. Some will be extra rough draft status and I will be using prompts on some days. Enjoy. 

I can only skim the pages 

of our stories. 

I wonder if there is a plot. 

I wonder what the point

of his character is. 

Maybe there is a twist

in future chapters

where it suddenly matters

to more than one of us.