January Personal Post

It has been a few months since I have made a personal post or rant. Tonight, I find myself alone watching way too much TV and movies. I have consumed way too much salt and not nearly enough chocolate. Truthfully, this night is not incredibly different than most nights. In fact, I started this post last night and didn't even have to edit it for it to be true.

Recapping 2013 is not something I'm interested in doing. More than anything, I am looking to move forward. As is the usual, I created a list of 2014 goals. Here are some of them:

• Color my hair (done, with henna from lush...all natural)
• Drink more water
• Create a tangible 5 year plan
• Cook more for myself and others
• Make a new friend
• 4.0 every term
• Go to more live music shows
• Appreciate people more vocally

I am thoughtful how last year started so pitifully because of situations out of my control. This year has begun somewhat shakey as well but entirely because of my own decisions. I feel like I can handle it though... these are things that can be fixed. I feel hopeful. I am rediscovering myself and what it means to be happy. Cheers to 2014. 

Bird

You are such a child

to poke at my feathers. 

You ran me off in a park 

we could have enjoyed

together. What a pity

you took pleasure in creating

discomfort. What a blessing;

you caused me to fly away. 

After Christmas

The lights come down

from the trees. 

What will this city be?

Only lonely streets with shoes

to keep them company 

A Portrait

She could carry groceries

with the bags

sitting under her eyes. 

But instead she rolled

a basket, mostly empty. 

At the edge of an intersection

she shielded herself

from the world

with permanent markered 

cardboard. 

Very rough draft. Currently untitled

You demonized this whole frame. 

I am a home filled 

with red faced accusations. 

My walls shake with

"You don't love me". 

These windows vibrate, sometimes

fracture and all is drenched

with isolation. You ask how I am;

we always look normal in the sun. 

You made me a haunted house

in your ghost town. 

At night, I wish I was void.