But yesterday things changed. I spent the day refocusing and writing down some new and old goals. I was again inspired to take the action I need to take in order to be accomplished and successful. I'm not exactly sure when, but along the way I started wrapping my life around the opinions of others. I allowed myself to feel less than enough because I wasn't fully accepted by others.
I made the drastic mistake of being interested in someone when I have not and am not quite on the path to achieve things of high importance. Not only that, but this person, in many ways, doesn't know me. I gave it a chance and I can't say I fully regret that. But I learned that if someone isn't taking the steps to really know you, walk away. Or run away. Do whatever necessary to not be trapped by silly emotions.
That is exactly what I have done. And it feels amazing. I am not going to deny that I find pleasure in being in control. I like to know where my life if is going. I like to know the possible outcomes of a situation. I like to plan, plan, plan. And then follow through to the end. So this regaining of control over not only my goals but my emotions has left me with a sense of strength.
But there is still that nagging that asks if I am homeless or restless because my heart doesn't exactly have a home. The answer is no. The heart is an internal organ in the body. And if the saying is true, I am home wherever my body is. I am home when I have restful nights of sleep. I am home when I stand tall and smile at the people who have rejected me. I am home when I go to work, classes, and graduate from college. I am home when I laugh with my best friends. This is real life. I feel alive.
