Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Over-thinking It

You make me remember my dreams.
Even in the sunshine, you abide in them.
This is what makes me smile
when I'm tired, even sleeping
until my imagination alters.

Yesterday, I awoke too soon
and when I returned you were
changed. Awake, I comprehended
again that I am missing
more than unfettered sleep, but consistency.

5 comments:

  1. Gramps-"And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren't any other people living in the world." -
    -- Anne Frank

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  2. oh, this is good, tsionah. i love the phrase unfettered sleep.
    the words abide, alters, and comprehended take me out of the poem a little bit, however. it's a really genuine piece, and those words don't evoke the same tone of sincerity.

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  3. Good quote, gramps.

    Jamila: Thanks! I felt the same way about abide and alters but I decided to post it anyways. Hmmm... lovely revisions.

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  4. i like your use of abide, and am thrown off by alters more.

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  5. Thanks for the feedback. I have yet to do a revision but perhaps soon.

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