Freewrites!

I can't seem to write anything of length or value lately. But I have some free writes I thought that I would share. I have some new things coming up in my life. I will probably be moving out on my own in September, and living downtown. I am transferring to a university. And I got a new Student Leadership position with ASPSU...I have my own desk! So hopefully with new things will come new ideas and creativity.

First Free-write
My professor said to distinguish between think
and feel buy they have blurred into a shade
of gray. My awareness of you makes me aware
of myself. So I spend an extra moment
in the mirror, thinking of improvements,
thinking - feeling, insignificant.

You draw out other versions of my shadow,
I drown in myself.

Second Free-write
Regret devoured creativity.
I prayed for a clean heart
but I got a muddled mind.
And when I reached for your hand,
there was no grasp because I am
invisible.

Third Free-write
I am in no way interested in you. I have a
mental list of the pros and cons and the resolution
has been negative. But Pride and Prejudice
has ruined me, tell me you love me,
at least like me so that I can say
"No". I will relish in the crumbling
of your pride and mine will rise.
I vowed to myself that one day
I would reject and deny near perfection.

Random Line
I am a soldier of loyalty
at war with other versions of myself.