Regret

This is to the same
feeling I felt as a child,
                            like
rain that was rejoiced
because something other
than my own dripping
confidence could slide
across my being.
                            like
Jonah trapped inside
a sea creature not for
three days
but years.
                           like
The remembrance of first
tasting shame: a bitter coffee
burning sweet taste buds.
                           like
Regret devoured
creativity and vomited
self disgust. I want to
dream of silence.