Reflections on 2011 and thoughts for 2012

I was looking back at posts around this time last year. Of course, I commentated about the upcoming year, wrote something pessimistic about the lack of commitment people have to resolutions, and made implications about  my own determination to have a successful year. But to put it simply, this year was incredibly difficult. But despite its difficulties I can say that much has been learned.

I recognize that there have been certain people who have pulled me through this year. These people may not have been aware of everything going on, but they astounded me (and continue to do so) with their resistance to run away from my crazy moments. I enjoy the though of me being a logical person, void of mood swings and the stereotypical, female antics. But honestly, I am aware that I can abort relationships by being emotionally closed off, abundant in pride, lacking in friendliness, and thoroughly honesty and opinionated. I am amazed that individuals have possibly seen something else and didn't give up on me. Maybe it was my witty, sarcastic sense of humor, my driving ambition, along with my impeccable ability to make plans. And the previously heartfelt moment has now ended.

I am not looking at 2012 saying "this will be the best year of my life". Instead, I want to tackle this coming year with the knowledge that it will undoubtedly be a struggle, and yet one that I (with a little help from friends) will conquer. Somehow, this excites me. I wonder if this is maturity. There are two things I want to work on and I believe them to be the root of many other things: trust and pride. The two are childhood friends; I do not trust people or God because that somehow makes me weak. Here is the pride side of things. I'm not sure where I learned how to think like this, but I am seeing how a general lack of trust and a large quantity of pride can ruin a person professionally, spiritually, and in relationships. I'm not sure about you, but I would prefer to not damage myself unnecessarily. 

What is it about the end of the year or the Holidays that make me excessively use adjectives/adverbs and be superbly emotional and vulnerable? And the end of another lengthy post.